Hit

Today, noticed some hits from India. They span a week and a total of 8 hits. I doubt it's Ann. She can't ignore after reading this. Else she has really changed. People must have difficulty recognising her then. LOL.

Implications of it not being Ann is disturbing. Read about the spy in Message In A Bottle. If the spy reached this blog before Ann did, that gives the resourcefulness of that person. Reminds me of my wife. But it can't be her because she doesn't care enough to spy.

I can imagine the situation of Ann. She is willing to do anything to escape the conflict. Just like I did. I gave my wife access to my Google account and by extension, Gmail, Photos, Drive etc. She ruled my life. Until I have had enough. I revoked all the access. I stood my ground when the conflict came. The photos of Ann I have now are the ones I kept in a Dropbox account, away from my phone. My wife found them. She fought with me. But missed deleting them. Thank God.

Ann would be worse. In my case, I acknowledged the existence of the relationship. But Ann even denied that. She acted like she doesn't even know me. She will need to do worse than I did to cover. Her Google account will be monitored by multiple people. That's how someone got to her YouTube account. And through her, to my account. For lack of a better term, like an STD. I guess somebody monitors her WhatsApp as well, via WhatsApp web. Somebody checks her phone too. I dunno who, while she was living with her sister-in-law. She is not courageous enough to break any of these chains herself. She won't allow anyone else to help either. 

As per her, time heals everything. I beg to differ. People are not going to let go of their punching bag. In her words, she is a doll her parents want to keep in the showcase. When someone visits their home, they will take her out and ask her to sing. She will sing. They will put her back to the showcase.

Anyway, I don't want to push people who don't want complications. Let her stay in the showcase. My life needs a change. She made it clear that she is not interested to join. So, I am moving away and starting my own adventure. I don't want to make the same mistake I did before (and Ann doing now). Ignore the problems as it grows, until, one day, it's too late.

People will be talking about living alone and loving themselves as long as they are healthy. Once the health starts declining, you will start questioning most of your choices. Point is to make yourself a meaningful life than being an option to someone when other options don't work for them. It's best to leave while you can rather than wasting the life on an illusion of love. That love is an illusion when it's symptoms have already been long gone and haven't seen in a long time. It's better to live for people who love us than for those whom we love. I have been feeling Ann being a one way, for some time now. Just like how Ann feels, it's not worth investing your time if there is no return of your affections. I think it will make sense to her. 

But, I won't try to commit suicide like she did. Lead by example. If happiness don't come to life by itself, we should capture our own happiness. Life is too short for problems or people to ruin it. I don't want to spend prime of my life waiting to be happy. I will define my happiness. My happiness once was defined to be Ann. Now since she have decided to waste her life trapped in problems and pushing me away, I will redefine my happiness. But that's not going to be being alone. I may not be as happy as I would be with Ann. But I will be happy. That's enough for me. Better than wasting life on lost causes.

Whatever lame excuses Ann tells herself for the life she have chosen, I wish her good luck in her life. May her parents live to be 100. May they be happy for being happy on the count of unhappiness of many others. May she find a way to go back to her husband one day. May she live a happier life. I won't be talking about her in this blog anymore. If she won't message me tomorrow, then it really is over. I tried really hard to just send her birthday message in September end. But she blocked every number. None of the messages went through. I was the one who told Gavssik. How else would he remember the birthday of a random girl?😂🤣

To infinity and beyond! 🌃🌌🛸🚀