Free Fall

I started having this weird dream after I was one year into marriage. It will be like I am falling into a bottomless pit. I feel physically falling and I wake up abruptly. I started having this dream more often with time. Then it stopped. That's when I met Ann. Then the dreams came back once I left Ann and went back into the  UK with my wife. This time it was severe. I will wake up 8-10 times a day. This happens during the daytime as well. Then again it stopped when my wife left me in the UK and went home.

When I went consulting Psychiatrists after Psychiatrists, I asked one of them what it meant. They told me that waking up abruptly after the dream is called Hypnic Jerk. It doesn't have any connection with the dream. When your mind thinks the dream is a reality, falling will bring physical reactions.

However, the dream itself has other implications. Falling or drowning or slipping in dreams are an indication of insecurities, instabilities and anxieties. You are feeling overwhelmed and out of control in some situation in your waking life. This may reflect the way you feel in your relationship or in your work environment. In my case, it was due to the feeling of being trapped in a relationship. When I met Ann, I didn't have to pretend anymore. The same thing happened with Ann as well. With me, she didn't have to pretend anything. She can discuss her insecurities or explore her wildest fantasies. With me, she didn't feel like she has to behave like a lady. We were free to each other. We were made for each other. That's why the dreams came back with more intensity. I don't get those dreams still is because, in my heart, there is always hope as long as we both are alive.

Update: 20/11/2019: Free fall started again. It's happening twice or thrice a day. May be a sign that my heart also starting to accept that it's time to move on.

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