Ann (updated)

Ann. How did I meet her? Why did I fall for her? It's like a fairy tale. If somebody hear this story, they will make a movie out of it.

I met Ann at work. It was more like a love at first sight. It only deepened with each meeting. She felt that I am falling for her. I knew that too. The word she used was "I seem to have encroached your mind". I have never heard of that word. I had to look up that word to understand what she meant. Me, being inherently shy, dismissed her conclusion, calling it absurd. I don't know when actually she started falling for me too, to a level that she would admit it. I could imagine how difficult it was for her. But the need to confront me should be that strong for her to come out of her shell. Also, I must have made an impression that she could be free with me. I don't know when that changed. I know I am short tempered. But I apologize when I am cooled down. 🙂

Now why I fell for her?

1. She is pavam. She is the most innocent person I have ever met until that day.

2. She is intelligent. She is brilliant. She can do anything she puts her mind to.

3. She is childish. I love her childish innocence and behaviours.

4. She is sweet. She can melt my temper like ice with her sweet talk.

5. She is patient. Can't even begin to tell you how much she put up to be with me. I have been angry at her for nothing and she was always patient until I am back to normal.

6. She is loveable. Each and every time I sees her, my heart fills up and feel like it's going to explode.

7. Her beautiful smile. That smile turns my darkest day into heaven.

8. Her beautiful voice. She sings beautifully. But that's secondary. What I love most is to hear her polambals. I used to sit for hours listening to her talking her mind.

9. Her dressing sense. She wears unique dresses which enhances her beauty. I didn't particularly like the dresses she wore when I was in Bangalore.

10. Last, but not the least. Those beautiful hair. And that fragrance emanating from those curls. She says it's shampoo. But I have never seen anyone else using it. I will stand there at security and will know that she is near, just by the fragrance alone. And the signature chin. 😘😍

Our close friends have different opinion about us. Sivamani know everything about us and he feels I should find someone else because Ann is too crazy. 😂🤣 Nowadays he won't even talk to me for still thinking about Ann. Gavssik don't know any stories. But, he would like to see both of us together, just because he knows stories from both sides separately. He feels we both will make a good couple. Poor guy even decided to talk to Ann on my behalf. He tells me that Ann was conflicted about the wedding two days before wedding and asked his opinion about not going through with it. He doesn't know the reason, but it gave him impression of her not being happy with the event.

Now, why Sivamani thinks Ann is crazy? What behaviours of Ann am I angry at?

1. She is indecisive. I know that she loves me. But she respect her parents too. She should either follow her heart or follow her brain. She can't do both.

2. She is secretive. This is the biggest one. She didn't tell me how she was coerced into the marriage for almost 6 months. She wouldn't even talk about it. She let me believe that she didn't fight. When I went to Bangalore and confronted her, she told me about what happened. It was a decision between her love and her mother's life.

3. She hides everything. I tells her everything whenever I get time or I am in mood. I have always told her the truth except at one occasion. But, from her end, she never told me anything. Her reason was that its going to hurt me. She is already hurting me by telling me that she loves me, but at the same time won't even talk to me. What else can she do?

4. She keeps me hooked. Whenever I starting to convince my heart that she can never be mine or she is out of my reach, she will make some gesture that will start everything all over again.

5. The recent. She gives me hope when I had none. Then asks me to wait. She don't contact me or closes any attempt to contact her. What she can do is to tell me why I can't contact her or why she can't contact me. Tell me her current position and find a solution together. Instead, she lets me believe that she don't love me. She won't even ask how I am after knowing that I am in physical plain. She won't say "hi" even on my birthday when she knows that I am all alone. She let me regret ever falling in love. She makes me find someone else to support me during my disability. She makes me think that she loves materials before me. She is ready to trade me for a good government job. I come way after in her priorities, after parents, job, relatives, neighbours, other friends and then me.

And here me fighting with Boss for treating Ann badly. I still believe that she loves me. If the current marriage doesn't work out, she is not going to marry anyone else if not me. But still she is willing to risk everything for something. I donno what it is. It can't be job. If it's her parents happiness, I wonder how many more sacrifices would they take to finally be happy? How many more people's unhappiness would outweigh their happiness in Ann's scale? Would they have been happy if Ann died when she attempted suicide? I donno what Ann would do once I marry someone else in March or April, caused by her inaction. Whatever it is, it also will be on them.

To life priorities.

Note: Reading at 03:30 AM in the morning! Didn't expect that. I was still editing this post.