Regret
If someone asks me of one thing I regret most in my life, it's how Chennai girl (Ann) left her job. It's complicated and I am still ashamed of what I did.
What Ann fears most in this world is my wife. She literally destroyed Ann's reputation and life. I know this more than anyone.
After getting married, Ann wanted to leave the project and go. Leaving me behind forever. But the project didn't allow. They made her work with me. She started making excuses for not working. She started thinking her life is hard because she is married and everyone should be okay with her not doing much work. We came to an arrangement with her timings. But, her not finishing any work, pissed me off. I escalated.
Later I came to know that she is not working properly because she was preparing for some exams in the backend. I told her that whatever exams you are preparing is your business. But when in office, please complete work. She never improved. She was thinking I was targetting her because of our past relationship. I tried to be clear that our past relationship was non-consequential here.
She tells me every week that she called the manager and asked for release. Nothing happened. I started to feel that she actually didn't want to leave. Then she tells me how good her life is. To the person who lost everything for the single reason of loving her. I wanted to tell her that the first 6 months will always be good in a marriage. That's why it's called the honeymoon. Once that is over, real problems will start popping up. In her case, problems started in the first 6 months itself. She even tried to suicide. I pretty much knew where it was headed. So, I told her: I didn't let you go just so that you can kill yourself. Even if nobody else loves you, I will always love you. Just come back to me when/if things get difficult to handle. My offer still stands and she never came.
That's when I decided to test whether she really wanted to stay or not. I simply made up a lie that me and my wife have patched things and she is coming to live with me. It was like her worst nightmare for Ann. She resigned the next day. She even requested to get an early release, one month less than the usual 3 months notice period. I didn't expect her to go through with it. I thought she must have learned to take risks. But she had no risk appetite. She stays zero risk-tolerant to date. That drives her decisions. She is a prisoner of the comfort zone.
I realized my mistake. I didn't tell her that I lied. I didn't know how she will react. So, I told her that the peace agreement between me and my wife was short-lived and she is not coming. I even told her to revert any decisions that she has taken in haste. What I meant was her resignation. Unfortunately, she didn't rescind her resignation and left the project by March 2019.
I will regret this deception I have done as long as I am alive. I am sorry Ann. Please forgive me.
What Ann fears most in this world is my wife. She literally destroyed Ann's reputation and life. I know this more than anyone.
After getting married, Ann wanted to leave the project and go. Leaving me behind forever. But the project didn't allow. They made her work with me. She started making excuses for not working. She started thinking her life is hard because she is married and everyone should be okay with her not doing much work. We came to an arrangement with her timings. But, her not finishing any work, pissed me off. I escalated.
Later I came to know that she is not working properly because she was preparing for some exams in the backend. I told her that whatever exams you are preparing is your business. But when in office, please complete work. She never improved. She was thinking I was targetting her because of our past relationship. I tried to be clear that our past relationship was non-consequential here.
She tells me every week that she called the manager and asked for release. Nothing happened. I started to feel that she actually didn't want to leave. Then she tells me how good her life is. To the person who lost everything for the single reason of loving her. I wanted to tell her that the first 6 months will always be good in a marriage. That's why it's called the honeymoon. Once that is over, real problems will start popping up. In her case, problems started in the first 6 months itself. She even tried to suicide. I pretty much knew where it was headed. So, I told her: I didn't let you go just so that you can kill yourself. Even if nobody else loves you, I will always love you. Just come back to me when/if things get difficult to handle. My offer still stands and she never came.
That's when I decided to test whether she really wanted to stay or not. I simply made up a lie that me and my wife have patched things and she is coming to live with me. It was like her worst nightmare for Ann. She resigned the next day. She even requested to get an early release, one month less than the usual 3 months notice period. I didn't expect her to go through with it. I thought she must have learned to take risks. But she had no risk appetite. She stays zero risk-tolerant to date. That drives her decisions. She is a prisoner of the comfort zone.
I realized my mistake. I didn't tell her that I lied. I didn't know how she will react. So, I told her that the peace agreement between me and my wife was short-lived and she is not coming. I even told her to revert any decisions that she has taken in haste. What I meant was her resignation. Unfortunately, she didn't rescind her resignation and left the project by March 2019.
I will regret this deception I have done as long as I am alive. I am sorry Ann. Please forgive me.
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