Soul

I started writing this blog as a way of coping with my loneliness. Once I have already written some of the crushing issues faced by me, I had an idea of sharing the blog with Ann. Point was once she reads it, she might even feel sharing her thoughts. Current status is not really different. I am still writing whatever in my mind. Someone reads it from India. I don't even know if it is Ann. No response to any of the posts. I have even offered to take the blog private and provide her an option for sharing thoughts. But no takers yet. Actually, I have already conveyed what I wanted to say. Not the response I have expected. But that's okay.  May be there is no response because there is someone else reading the blog. If it's Ramkumar, I am really sorry bro. I have never interfered in her life, myself. I am really sorry that you are another sacrificial lamb in Ann's pursuit of her parents' happiness. I don't really know what happened between you two. I am not trying to...

Found these in Tesco. Couldn't help, but buy them. I don't even know if they will last until January. Even if they last, I don't know if I will ever see the person I bought them for. 🤐😵

I sent another mail asking Reshma if it was her who was trying to reset my IRCTC passwords. She and Ann are the only ones who knows my IRCTC username. She replied and said it was not her. That confirms that she have ignored the previous mail, as expected. To life.

In two weeks I will go to India. 😬😬

I just found a better option. 1. Add another author. 2. Turn the blog private. Only authors can view.

Ann. How did I meet her? Why did I fall for her? It's like a fairy tale. If somebody hear this story, they will make a movie out of it. I met Ann at work. It was more like a love at first sight. It only deepened with each meeting. She felt that I am falling for her. I knew that too. The word she used was "I seem to have encroached your mind". I have never heard of that word. I had to look up that word to understand what she meant. Me, being inherently shy, dismissed her conclusion, calling it absurd. I don't know when actually she started falling for me too, to a level that she would admit it. I could imagine how difficult it was for her. But the need to confront me should be that strong for her to come out of her shell. Also, I must have made an impression that she could be free with me. I don't know when that changed. I know I am short tempered. But I apologize when I am cooled down. 🙂 Now why I fell for her? 1. She is pavam. She is the most innocent pe...

I am thinking of extending the blog and providing the reader from India to write if they wish to. First, let me give you some confidence. There is only one reader from India. And one reader from the UK. That's me. Then there is a guy from Belgium who comes to read my article on the Ubuntu screen light issue. He won't come anymore since I have deleted that post. Also I have made this blog unsearchable from Google and blogger. Only people with the blog name can come here. The Indian user uses Android and Chrome browser. I use windows and Chrome or Firefox browsers. Time analysis also consistent. I know of my timings. Same is UK user timings. India user logs in usually around 10:30 PM-11:30 PM Indian time. For the past few days, he/she is logging in around 8-9 PM. There are no other hits from India. Now, I am talking to the Indian user. If you wish to write what is going through your mind, all you need to do is to comment your email id to this post. Doesn't need to be your rea...

Dream house plan.

Mailed Reshma after a long time today. I thought of sending it for long. Then decided to send. Why deprive someone of their happiness on my account? I told her about my health condition and discussed about my future plans. I have been blocked in her WhatsApp for past 3 years. So, mail is the only way. Told her that this will be right time if she ever thought of coming back. Everybody knows what her response will be. More like what her non-response will be. But, I wanted to give her a last chance as well. Just like I gave for Ann. I can use any help I can get. I had to write blog for Ann because I literally don't have any other contact than a phone number. For Reshma, she sends me mails asking to pay EMI for Bangalore house. So, I know that the mail is still being used. For me, any girl is same if not Ann. Then why not Reshma? If she ready to repent for the stuff she have done to me, it's something. If she doesn't show up, I can file the divorce without conscience. I explain...

Today, I got a proposal from offshore management. As per their BCP plan, as of now, they don't have anyone to invoke BCP plan. All the offshore team for FileNet is based in Chennai. So, they have suggested me to transfer to Delhi or Bangalore so that they will have a BCP plan. I already said no to Bangalore. I have asked for time to decide on Delhi. Delhi will be an ideal place for me to restart my life. I can use Hindi to my advantage. I have many friends in Delhi who can be useful. Sandeep's dad and brothers are high paying officials in Delhi Government. I can use all that. I have always been fascinated by the Punjabi language and north Indian states. Delhi will be an ideal place to explore India from. I can easily reach Trivandrum in less than 2 hours via a flight. Once Gavssik leaves to the UK, I  have   no friends left in Chennai anyway. I am really tempted to say yes. If I ask my dad, he will say no, for sure. But it's my life. Enough listening to people. I have nothi...

Who is Vandana to me? Nobody. But she is one of my best friends in the world. I met her when I went to her home for meeting her to form a marriage alliance. We were briefly engaged as well. Then she chose to follow her heart than her dying father's wish. Her father was diagnosed with both kidney failure and living on daily dialysis. She is happier than most girls I have met. She has a daughter and love of her life as a husband. They don't have much money. But her life is happy. They live for today. One hospital emergency will destroy their financial planning. But that's okay. Today, I think about her because she is recovering from a throat operation. She is a singer. She sings the most beautiful songs. While we were engaged, she used to sing me songs through the phone. After she broke the engagement and fled with Jinu, she tried to stay in touch with me. I was happy that she was happy. But my wife saw her as a rival due to some reason. She had me severe all connection...

Talked to dad today. He wants to sell the ancestral home. It's on the main road and will fetch a good amount. He doesn't want to live in the house it seems. 1. The house reminds him of mom. 2. People mock him due to the life choices I made. He wants to get away from the place and start life anew. He doesn't have to run away. There is an easier way. Just disown me like everybody else. He can live happily. I will send him money irrespective. Instead of "Murali and his son" being black sheep in the family, it will be just "Murali's son".😢 This happened just after my cousin's marriage. The new girl is still getting oriented into the family. Then my father's brother's wife arrives along with other relatives. She tells the new girl that this family consists of very good people and we are proud of each and everyone, except Murali and his son. They not only disowned me but also creating awareness in new members as well. My dad is in the bad book...

Created the site for the new company. Akshayatech.in

Addicted to colouring app. ❤️😍😘🤩🥰

One of the first things I wanted to do in India is to buy a car. It's as important as my Physiotherapy sessions. I see it as a getaway from Chennai during weekends and a way to run away in case any assassins show up either from Thiruvananthapuram or from Chenkottai. 🤣😂 The main problem I will face is the lack of money. Unlike anyone expects from someone returning from the UK, I don't have any money left. I had to spend almost all of it on dad's treatment and paying our previous debts. I will hardly have 2-3 lakhs when I return, which my dad will find some way to spend. 😢 Even if I don't spend the money on anything and use it completely for buying a car, that amount is not nearly enough to buy a decent car. I wish to buy a car with enough space and horsepower for me to move to a different city whenever I want, should not require multiple trips for all my stuff, at least essential stuff like my desktop and all, which I need to buy for Akshaya Technologies Pvt Ltd , I a...

Just like last year, birthday was celebrated with Sandeep's family. He picked me up and we went shopping. Bought stuff for making pizza and then went to his home. Made pizza from scratch and had the pizza. It was amazing. He bought the usual carrot cake he brings. Kuhu and Shaurya enjoyed the cutting of the cake and later the cake as well.🎂🍰🥧 (I can't lift my hands higher than that. That's why this awkward pose. 😢) During the pizza preparation, Sandeep asked me what my future plan is. Not work-related. Personal. I said I will file divorce and then do something with my life. Then comes the revelation. Sandeep: If you are going to file the divorce, what is stopping them from killing you? She won't be divorced. She will be a widow. By default, she will get all the money and property you have. They will not have to return the 15 lakhs they have. It's a win-win for them.🥺🤐 Me: I never thought about it. But it's true. In the current political s...